7 Stages of Personal Development
- Dale Robertson
- Jan 23, 2024
- 10 min read
How often have you been told, “Life is a journey,” and sometimes it is added with, “So enjoy the ride!”?
Even though the statement can be true in its flippant way, it offers the receiver no real, practical help other than “chin up and carry on.” As some would like to say, “Have a teaspoon of cement!”
These responses hold very little value practically.
Yes, life is a journey and we are all developing at our own speed, dealing with a variety of different circumstances, unique to each person. Hence the naming of this page. “Your Dynamic Insight” refers to bringing each person to their own insight for their health and wealth, and serving each person uniquely rather than applying the cookie-cutter approaches. It's about equipping you to live your life to the fullest.
Is it that simple? Well, yes and no.
We all have our own lives, journeys, goals, and values. But we are all human. We all share the same fundamental elements or stages that are observable. How each stage affects us, defines our individuality that the world so eagerly tries to advocate for. Sometimes to the individual’s detriment, I might add.
This is what I mean….
As we journey and grow as individuals to our full potential, we all go through stages. How long and how significant the stages are varies, and sometimes we need to revisit stages depending on certain circumstances.
So, let’s look at the seven stages of personal growth.
The concept of the seven stages of personal growth is not universally attributed to a single individual or organization. It's important to note that various frameworks and models exist that describe personal growth and development in different ways.
However, one popular framework often referred to as the seven stages of personal growth is associated with the work of Dr. M. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist and author. Let us look at Dr. Peck’s framework as one of the more authoritative ones psychologically and see how they work and relate to our development goals.
Each stage can be explained and experienced as a progression from one to the next as an individual grows and matures. Some are caught in certain stages throughout life, left wondering what is wrong or missing, or even blissfully unaware. Some revisit stages from time to time as they quantify or disqualify their experiences.
As you continue reading, identify what relates to you and challenge yourself. You may have a chuckle realising you have gone through an incredible journey to where you find yourself now and discover tips for where you want to go.
The Seven Stages of Personal Development
1. Stage of Chaos
This stage involves a sense of confusion, disarray, and a lack of direction in life. It may be marked by personal crises or significant life changes.
We can all relate to and possibly recall every time we have stages of chaos in our lives. It often comes at a move, the loss of a job or the loss of a loved one. But a determining factor of this stage is that it is not the events that are the markers or makers of this stage.
Unfortunate and traumatic things happen to us, yes. But it is important to note that we are not the trauma or the chaos. These happen to us. They are not who we are!
So then, what is the stage of chaos in the seven stages of personal development?
Simply put. It is: “The state of ignorance.”
Or “I cannot see beyond my own thoughts and feelings.”
Many of us can relate to this marker of immaturity. Sadly, though many never grow out of it either.
I am sure many parents can see this from time to time with their kids. When our own lives, thoughts, worlds, and constructs are self-determined and viewed from the thought of “I know best,” or “you don’t get it” and similar.
That is precisely where the chaos is. It is in the burnt fingers, the bad choices, and the feeling of a lack of direction and purpose that leads from one personal crisis to another, or spontaneously big life changes.
This state of ignorance is both for how the world works and more significantly, how we identify in the world that we live.
2. Stage of Formality
In this stage, individuals seek structure and order in their lives. They may establish routines, adhere to rules, and follow societal norms for stability and security.
This occurs once we realise that our ignorance is what is causing our crises and discomfort in the world.
Here, we seek to set up parameters or standards and procedures in which to operate. We may start to adhere to certain political groups, social identities, or causes that give us our framework for existing and interacting, giving ourselves a sense of purpose and grounding.
This is a significant stage and can also be a stage that one can’t find comfort in and stay. However, this stage also has an age group marker. Often dogmatic tendencies and extreme devoutness to ideologies and causes are lived out in this stage.
Many times, the subtleness of giving your time, money, and energy at the cost of yourself, can be hurtful and damaging - all to be part of an illusion of being accepted by something “significant” other than us.
But what is happening here?
In the Chaos caused by our own ignorance, one starts to become “Aware of old habits.”
In other words: “I can see the limitations of my actions and perceptions.”
And so, by joining groups or organisations, one can gain a sense of belonging and purpose providing a framework in which one can build and grow in life, giving a pseudo sense of stability and security from the Chaos.
3. Stage of Skepticism
Individuals in this stage question established beliefs, ideas, and authorities. They seek deeper understanding, challenge assumptions, and explore alternative perspectives.
This stage is a great but often disconcerting stage.
We see our individuality as the whole rather than the whole in our identity. In other words, the world around us is no longer how we define ourselves but simply where we inhabit.
“In” the world opposed to “of” the world.
I described this stage as disconcerting because it can be, very. This can be where mid-life crises happen, where relationships and bridges can be broken, or a sudden change of degree, job, or career. All to “find oneself” outside of their societal norms.
What is happening here is a “Dying to old ways.”
One is fighting with oneself to see and experience life differently. You start questioning things, evaluating them against your values and goals, and you are forging ahead to be who you are for your heart’s fulfilment. But with knowing that, and doing so, you need to question everything, set up boundaries, break out of old habits and form new ones.
Not only are you going through a stage of questioning everything about the world around you, but you also start to question yourself and who you are.
The encouragement is to embrace this and be aware when it is happening.
It is NOT because you are broken or failed, but because you, as an individual, have outgrown the world in which you live. So don’t break bridges, hurt relationships, or leave connections and businesses. Work hard at redefining them in a way that serves you.
Yes, it may indeed mean “cutting the excess fat off of the juicy piece of meat” of your world - but don’t discard the meat completely.
4. Stage of Discernment
In this stage, individuals develop the ability to differentiate between truth and falsehood, real and illusory, and authentic and inauthentic aspects of themselves and the world.
Now that you are starting to be more secure in who you are, knowing your values and goals, and where you want to be, you can start to refine and be more determined in your direction.
You can establish your identity and worth for yourself apart from external sources.
Your “radar” is working, and you can distinguish between what is useful to you and what is not.
You also know where your responsibilities and boundaries are. Not yet?
Well, this is the stage where you start determining yourself. You gain a “commitment to growth” attitude. Or “You are committed to growth and maturing before all things.”
You have broken free from where you were and are forging ahead to who you want to be. Life is starting to have a new sense of excitement and you are driven - not by external forces but by something inside that is self-determined and powerful.
You have been able to separate from the things that happen to you or try to draw you in and start to understand the value of authenticity and notice falsehoods. This newfound determination for an authentic self helps you commit to professional and personal growth because you are acutely aware of your unique value, independent of the world around you.
It allows you to grow in a way that serves you, where maturing and growing is your highest priority. You are starting to become a fully functional person.
This stage does have its ups and downs. And sometimes the past will draw you in because of the bias of its safety in the familiar. But this is fleeting due to your commitment to maturing and personal growth.
5. Stage of Surrender
Individuals in this stage learn to let go of control, accept uncertainties, and trust in a higher power or the natural flow of life. It involves embracing vulnerability and finding inner peace.
During a commitment to growth stage, there comes a time when one realises that one just doesn’t have to fight every battle. There is no use in worrying about the uncertainties of life.
You know who you are, and you know what you want and need out of life. You are starting to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, unapologetically. You also understand your uniqueness.
As a part of entering this stage, one needs to overcome attachment. This can also be referred to as “Resistance to growth.” Where “one can experience internal battles that undermine growth habits."
Commonly we can feel that things or people try to hold us back in our growth. Out of spite or ignorance or complete oblivion, it is not their reactions or interactions with us that we need to overcome to reach our potential to grow further. Rather, it is what happens within us that we have control and determinism over.
Another way to describe what is happening is - that we create a sense of being, able to separate personal attachment to things used to hold us down.
This is not from a lack of empathy, but from the freedom in living within your sense of self and in effect, eliminating ambivalence towards their impact on our lives.
6. Stage of Perfection
This stage emphasizes personal growth and self-improvement.
Individuals strive for excellence, pursue mastery in their chosen domains, and set higher standards for themselves.
So, you have reached the stage where you have started to become a fully functional person, or you are self-actualised.
You know who you are, you know where you are going. You also know where you want to have the most impact in the world. This may be professionally, relationally, and socially. You are “full engines forward” on your journey of personal growth. Mastering your field of genius and setting the standard for yourself - a place where you feel that you are entering into existential success.
Sometimes called “The stage of judgment," or where “you have no tolerance for false, amateur, or superficial.“
This is when you enter a crossroads where you can be positive or negative towards other people’s stages of personal growth. Remembering that others may not have matured in the same way as you or with the same outcomes as yourself, you can confidently influence others without the sense of personal attachment.
Moreover, you have also built the maturity to not fall into falsities or amateur ways of thinking or interacting with the world. But can set higher standards and examples for others to follow.
Your decisions going forward, although never devoid of risk, are better informed if you make them wisely with your expertise, as you strive for greater mastery - always striving to improve yourself and the sphere in which you influence.
7. Stage of Service
The final stage focuses on selflessness and contributing to the well-being of others.
Individuals in this stage find fulfilment by positively impacting the world and engaging in acts of compassion, empathy, and altruism.
This is a powerful stage to be in.
We can all recognise individuals on a global stage and in our local communities, who have reached this stage. All those who give back to the betterment of humanity. Whether or not you agree with their political or religious views, we can agree that there are individuals who have reached this place of giving back – a place in their journeys where they can make a difference to those around them.
This entails entering a place of personal “Acceptance and autonomy – where being at peace with oneself and others,” you are no longer concerned with how others view you. You are also at a place where you are no longer concerned with how you view yourself.
This is not to say that the journey is over or there is no more room to grow and improve.
This is a stage where you have reached a place of such freedom, internally, and existentially, that you can give back and find further fulfilment by giving for the sake of the giving itself. Giving selflessly.
How many can say that they are at this stage? Be honest!
We can all give of our time, money, and skills, but how often has it been done where there is no sense of obligation attached? Or there is no sense of reciprocity needed? Where we just give, for the sake of giving.
TRUE!
Giving and service are not a sign of financial or influential wealth, but a true sign of mental and spiritual providence.
In Closing...
We are all living a life that is given to us to master and make our own.
We all need to grow in the uniqueness of our identity, as created for the communities and people around us.
Your story is yours and so are others theirs, but we all seem to have a defined set of limitations and defined stages of personal growth that are built into the cycle of life.
Understanding where you are on your journey, identifying some of the challenges that you are expected to face, how they may be overcome, and knowing that they lead to greater, and deeper levels of personal freedom, is empowering.
Awareness and understanding help us create the wisdom needed to face them for positive outcomes.
Although this is one framework for understanding the stages of personal growth, be encouraged that you are the sole determining factor for the outcome of your journey.
Embrace it as you grow into your dynamic self!
If you are feeling challenged by this or you need help breaking through, reach out to me and let’s chat. Or make use of the chat below to leave your thoughts and encouragement for others to gain from.
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